Question: How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD?

What does BPD look like in relationships?

Symptoms of BPD can cause constant changes in emotions. For example, a person with BPD may be affectionate and doting, but within a few hours, their emotional state may switch. They may feel smothered or overwhelmed. This can lead them to push away the partner they had just been drawing closer.

What should I do if I suspect my partner has borderline personality disorder?

Finding Relief if Youre Facing Relationship Problems Due to Borderline Personality DisorderSeek out information. ... Get help. ... Practice healthy communication. ... Ask open-ended questions. ... Talk only when your partner is calm. ... Offer support. ... Avoid labeling or blaming. ... Take threats seriously.More items...•Oct 15, 2018

What does borderline personality disorder look like in a woman?

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

A little more than a month ago I met what i thought to be the girl of my dreams. The way we met was like taken out from a Movie. We met on an airplane and there was a very strong overwhelming chemistry between us.

She had an ex boyfriend whom she dumped 3 times and cheated on and would always talk about him with Guilt in her eyes. She quickly introduced me to her family, her best childhood friend, i was very wonderful to her. We became very close and intimate and one day she told me she wanted to be my girlfriend, that we should be formally in a relationship.

I dont want a relationship to her, but I care a lot about her and it hurts that she could just walk away like that from me.

Do they make second reappearances? This thread is more than 3 years old, so we'll close it now. A week more of frantic emails and texts from me wondering why everything was going so wrong followed. When she did respond sometimes it would be hopeful messages reminding me she loved me, but still clinging to doubt about the kids.

Finally one day I checked her profile and saw a picture with her and another guy stating they were in a relationship. I looked at his profile and his said they had been a couple since Feb. I messaged her new guy to let him know what was going on. Made sure to tell him I had no beef with him, just wanted the truth.

25 'Embarrassing' Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

Things had been so good I had pretty much forgot she told me she had it. She was frantic and angry, but not so angry as to be mean or cruel to me. She projected her behavior on to me, calling me childish, saying she would do anything to make it right with him cause he wa so supportive which I was too but was amazing with her kids.

Amazing with her kids after less than a month? That in itself is disturbing for the agenda that guy probably has. He made her accept my phone call and I wanted the truth. While she was angry, again she was not mean or cruel. Worse she called me was childish and stupid for what I had done, which was her projecting her own behavior on me.

She even had the nerve to ask me why couldn't I be happy for her. Very immature thing to ask in that situation. I told her it was because she lied to me, and she could have just been an adult and told me she moved on. I How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? not mean or cruel to her either, I didn't yell or call her names. I heard her choke up, then all her anger subsided and she said bye in the saddest, most sheepish way.

As a higher-functioning borderline I think that she took care not to say anything cruel to me, and didn't even say she didn't love me anymore. The kind, sweet guy that wasn't even mean to her in the face of betrayal. It has been nearly 3 weeks since that night, and I have respected her wishes not to How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? her. On the other hand he does. He seems kind of like the sleazy, deadbeat guys she has been with in the past.

Seems very insecure posted a pic of them kissing in a bar, but then removed it for some reason. And I have found out recently through a simple google search he was arrested for marijuana possession only a week before they met.

His sentence seemed pretty harsh for possession, so he must have priors. He's a construction worker who has lived in some of the shadier parts of the area we live in, so there might be a chance he's a felon too. While I am worried for her it is just more of her cycle of bad choices in men, I had wondered why her Mom loved me so much, and I believe it was because I was the first stable, nice guy to come along in quite awhile, if ever.

I have missed her so much that my life has been in ruins. I've had to seek medication for my anxious thoughts of her, and have even had to briefly move back home while I cope. How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? couldn't help what she did, and I think the paranoia of I may leave her and her kids someday pushed me away, and she began to idealize this new guy. He sounds like the last guy you would want to idealize. That's why I believe I'll be in the rescuer role at some point.

She took care not to really close the door to hard on me when we spoke that last time. She could have raged on me but she simply was frantic and flustered that I had caught her. I thought I would never hear from the other ex again, but it took only a month and a half for her to try and get back into my life.

I really do want her back in my life as I know that she didn't meant to hurt me with her behavior, but I will be very guarded. I might not ever hear from her is something I might have to live with, but the thing with borderline's is all the emotions, feeling, and love they have for you is real.

Something just gets in the way of it at times and their disorder takes over. But I really do think she was careful not to be mean to me in hopes that I'll be there for her if the new guy screws up, be it in her mind or for real. I think you will see your Borderline again.

Just be ready to make the choice if you want that kind of unpredictability in your life. The love she gave me made me feel very special, and I believe she felt the same way. It's a gamble, but you need to decide if your borderline is worth the risk, and if your heart can handle it.

How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD?

About 5 months before the true end of our relationship I had gotten tired of her child-like behavior that had driven any romantic or sexual feelings about her from me. So I met a girl online basically as a hook up, and we ended up being fwb's from that day forth. I literally fell in love with her the moment I met her, as she was everything I had dreamed for in a girl.

We spent 7 months as fwb's enjoying each other sexually, and gradually getting stronger and stronger feelings for How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? other everytime we hung out. After I was able to escape the previous girl, she really picked me up and made me feel special, as I did to her, and we started dating.

Our dating and friendship was amazing, we never had any conflict whatsoever. Come New Year's Eve we couldnt stand it anymore and declared our love and became a couple. I would have never known because she acted nothing like the ex before. She has 2 kids, and was able to work. Adderall helped her maintain her focus in that part of How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? life. Still no arguments, always were extremely loving and supportive of each other.

I had told her I was new to dating a girl with kids so she would have to take it slow with the kids and she agreed. About 2 months into the relationship there was a night she was supposed to come over and spend the weekend. I was tired and cranky that night so I told her I would get a hold of her when I was ready for her to come over. When I did text her I got no response.

I would come to learn later it was because she went out to a bar and met a guy. All it took for her was to feel slighted in the least to go out and do this. I would not find out she was seeing this guy for nearly another month. She had told me she had a history of being with abusive, deadbeat, and generally sleazy guys. She liked that I was so different form them.

Calm, very loving, supportive, patient, caring. She would tell me this often. When I expressed that I was bothered by her not coming over she went into frantic mode and said she would do anything to make it better and she was sorry. She than became to communicate less and less.

Not returning texts, not calling when she said she would, and generally having excuses for ditching me when we were supposed to hang out. Yet the How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? time she said she loved me so deeply, but she was afraid that I was not ready for kids. I told her I understood that she was a package deal when I became her man, and was more than ready for the chance to be in their lives more.

She never gave me How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? chance, just excuses, while still making sure to tell me I was loved, and that she as just really busy.

When we finally were able to see each other it was an amazing day, like no time had passed. The love between us was obvious, she initiated romantic contact that day and made plans to come have sex the next night. Of course she ditched me then too. I became suspicious and How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? joined Facebook to see what she was up to.

She declined my friend request. I was finally able to get away from her after one final evening of absolute insanity from her. I had heard from her parents, whom I became extremely close with and talk to almost daily still, that she was in a long-term rehab. I was devastated at the loss of this person from my life so suddenly, yet relieved that she was gone. I really thought I would never hear from her again. A month and a half later she calls me up like nothings happened and let me know she skipped out on rehab after about a week.

She had been living with a random guy who she made sure to tell me she was not having sex with and doing drugs still. And sure enough she wanted me back. I declined while still trying to be her friend, and attempting to get her to rehab again.

I feel your pain and I can't imagine what you have been through. I met a girl two months ago and at first I said I would offer her friendship only. I was only ever interested in getting to know her and she seemed really pleasent. Plus she has three children, at the time I thought friendship is all i want. I went to school with her but I never spoke to her up until recently. She's a gorgeous gril with an infectious personality and we got on like a house on fire.

A week or two after speaking everyday I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with me. She has gone through times where she feels really down that I can't get through to her which How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? understand as she did warn me. I've met her twice and I respected her so much to make her feel comfortable around me.

The last time I met her was on the 23rd Jan and we had an amazing day together, it was truly beautiful and this girl I know is the one for me. She told me she doesn't want to hurt me and that she has a lot on as she doesn't feel well. She How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD?

me we dont have a future together even though a few days before we were both confident that we would eventually marry one day and see each other more often. Right now i'm in a bad place as I do care about, and love this girl a hell of a lot. I'm thinking of giving her some space, I send her a text in the morning and evening just wishing her well and telling her i care about her, even though she doesn't respond.

Some have told me to let it go but I can't as she means the world to me and How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? pray one day she can see that we were meant to be. From a quickie, to an affair to Im leaving and then live with another man. I have lived this, I have fixed problems paid bills saved her life etc.

How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD?

This time I How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? making a clean break. I emotionally cannot go through this again. They always justify everything they do on everyone else being the blame. They live in a whirlwind of positive and negative emotions, will do anything to drag you in, and then dump you out. They don't really understand that others have feelings -- just like psychopaths. Upset about how she's treating you now?

Just wait a week, it'll be the opposite. Unless she's too busy doing it to someone new to remember you exist. It doesn't matter how smart you are, and being sensitive or kind is a liability. So, unless you enjoy being screwed with and looking like an idiot every other week, lash yourself to the mast, and steer away from her siren song.

Hey you guys Ok dont get me wrong my professor told me my ex was bdp or emotianally ustable. You trully were with a Borderline person. You are so right How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD? friend.

I couldn't find another interpretation and i did exactly the same as you did. And i was mean in the last 2 msgs How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD?. I feel sorry for her, but mostly for me. I saved her life several times. Did your's come back or tried to communicate with you? I know that you re seeking justice. But as you said they live in their own world of using people. I was so devistated by how she turned into a different person overnight.

If you can manage that you stay. You will need to be the strongest type character ever and even then make sure you have good supports so you don't fall to pieces. She will use you, play you and move on when it is convienent. This all sounds too familiar. I feel deeply in love with a girl from my past. She just decided to not be in a relationship one day.

Not only that, she suddenly cut off contact for the most part. On the other hand, she never quite will let me go. It's like I'm just there in case she needs me. I don't know whether what little hope she gives me is false hope or what. I don't think she even knows. I found your response very Helpful man. I guess one just falls into a state of emotional shock when someone goes from extreme bright although always throwing warnings and then Pitch Black, like you never existed for them.

I know that if so much unnecessary drama took place after only a month and a half which was like taken out of a hollywood love movie from the 50´s then what would have happened if i had stayed for a longer time with her? Like i am the worst guy shes ever been with. I deleted her from facebook and deleted her from my phone - so no contact whatsoever, But i do wonder if she will make another reapparance at least to say she is sorry or just. What hurts the most is that i always respected her and never asked to be in a relationship with her, she was the one who did everything since we met- all the interest etc and then screwed things.

So i only wanted her to know that i held no remorse and that we could be friends but still she turned my friendship down, as if i had done something wrong to her. Then made it seem that it was Me, who screwed things up, distorting facts.

I think is very hard not to take something like this personal, especially when you come from a home where your mother acted in similar ways. You just want to understand why. That sounds like a whole lot of drama on her part. I've been so affectionate and loving and then all of the sudden I just pushed away as hard as I could. I lost an amazing girl by doing things like that. Here's the thing How can I tell if my girlfriend has BPD?, she sounds kind of mean.

I never went back to some other girl and put up pictures of someone else like that. You don't sound like some kind of gigolo and you seem to still have feelings for her so that shows that you have a heart. Sometimes people are just mean. It seems like when someone says they can't trust you it's because they have something that they feel guilty about and they think that you're doing the same thing. Remember, not all girls but some girls cheat. Guys do to, I'm just saying.

I hate to come out and say this but, every and I mean every girl that I've been with has had a boyfriend when I met them. I don't know what to say. I did the disappearing act but, then I came back. I even tried to convince my girlfriend to move back to Ohio even though I would break down into tears right after I did it.

I hate to say anything bad about her but, that just sounds weird. I had an affair with a married women once and she was so loving and open and so passionate. She had so many terrible things to say about her husband and I thought that she was going to leave him for me. Then one day, it all changed. She told me she needed space and then 3 months later she basically told me it was over. Now her and her husband are happily married and have a kid! I was torn up over that for the longest time and then my best friend slapped me in the back of the head and told me to tighten up!

He said some people just want to have a fling before they settle into a long term relationship. Some people just want to have their cake and eat it too. I'm not saying that's the case here but, don't rule it out.

Some people have sever emotional issues that cause them to act out and ruin relationships that could end up being the best thing that ever happened to them. Some people have chemical imbalances that require medication and therapy to help them to lead a normal life. Then there are some people that just aren't that great of people. Some people just don't think of how they hurt other people. I fit in the first two categories and live with remorse and regret every day for the times I hurt other people.

It's wrong to lead people on and if you do it you should feel remorse for it. Do you think she lead you on and if she did do you think that she feels bad about it? The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only.

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